I blogged about writing sex scenes back in May 2012 but here we go again. Not because I’m fixated (my partner will vouch for that!) but because I feel it’s a difficult subject to write about and have respect for authors who achieve it sensitively, without being off-putting or sounding like a biology book.
I read 99p Kindle books, selected from suggestions that come up on my Facebook news feed. Before splashing out 99p, I read the description and some reviews – and it’s surprising how opinions differ. Some of these books are so good I feel guilty that I only paid 99p. Others are crap and I either abandon them or rush through, wondering how they got such good reviews.
When reading a paperback, you see the title and the author every time you pick it up and if there’s a character that wasn’t built strongly enough to remember who they are you can easily recap to the point where they came in. With Kindle, I tend to forget the name of the author and the title of the book. I can’t recall who wrote the sex scenes in this 99p book I’m half way through (and wouldn’t name them here anyway) but the cringe-making nature of the following snippets means I’m either going to ditch this book, rush it through, or plough on out of morbid curiosity in case there are any more of these gems:
Name that tune!
Never did feel hypnotherapy would work for me.
“her actual vagina”
Update 26/07/21 – a couple of good ones from the crime fiction I’ve just finished:
Stop unfolding me!
Sounds like a bad bathroom experience!
Whilst it’s easy to take the Mickey, I’m not claiming I could do much better. I only attempt a sex scene if it’s relevant and it would be cheating the reader to simply leave the couple at it and move on to the next chapter. I find sex scenes excruciating to write and therefore I imagine not too easy to read.
The 99p book I have quoted from has lots of five-star reviews, otherwise I wouldn’t have bought it. My own 99p book (available from a link on this site) only has two reviews – both of them five-star. Hilariously, one of those reviews is from someone who hadn’t yet read it! Guessing they must’ve been taken with Dean Harkness’s cover design!