Supporting Movember
November has become men’s month where we celebrate their achievements and spotlight the issues affecting men’s health and wellbeing.
We have International Men’s Day on the 19th November, and of course the Movember taches will be taking shape to raise funds to support mental health and suicide prevention, prostate cancer and testicular cancer.
As a woman, I give thanks for the lovely men I have been blessed with, not just the men in my family but all the amazing work colleagues I have teamed up with over the years. I also feel privileged to have been born at a time (in the 60s) when simply being female has given me advantages.
When I was a lass, no-one batted an eyelid when I went grass-sliding down slopes with the lads and made rope-swings in trees, but I’m pretty sure eyebrows would have been raised if the lads had taken an interest in my dolls, nurse’s costume and tea set. My school uniform only allowed skirts, but outside school I could wear what I liked, including my brother’s outgrown jackets and jeans, whereas boys all pretty much dressed the same. At school, boys did woodwork whilst girls did home economics and made awful scones that had to be levered away from the roof of the mouth with a finger.
I recall the time my brother looked glum because his school report wasn’t too good, and he was worried about what Dad would say when he came home from work. Mum explained to me that it was important for boys to do well at school because they had to get a good job, whereas it didn’t matter so much for girls.
Victorian ideals of gender were still lurking around in the late 60s and early 70s, sustained by our grandmothers. Men were the bread winners and women were homemakers, and men weren’t supposed to be effeminate, just as women mustn’t appear too butch. Grandma used to tell Slade to get their hair cut when they appeared on Top of the Pops!
It was these attitudes to gender that saw young men called up for National Service and put on the front line as cannon fodder … and November, with the Poppy Appeal, is a time when we particularly remember them, and reflect on the sacrifices they made.
Of course, gender roles are less clearly defined these days, with men having far more involvement in child care and housework. When I was born, Dad only had ten days annual leave and had to use it to look after my brother, as paternity leave didn’t exist and women were treated as if they were ill for a fortnight after they’d given birth. These days, many couples are juggling paid working hours around child care and spend their time off doing housework because it takes two wages to pay the rent or mortgage … so the old tradition certainly had its advantages.
Now that women have the same earning potential and career opportunities, does this mean there is less pressure on men? Or do some men feel they have to put more effort into being the ‘man of the house’? Maybe that might be the case with middle-aged men, but not so much the younger lads? Afterall, as youngsters we tend to accept the values of the culture we are born into, until we get to a certain age and then, hopefully, begin to question some elements of our normality.
Do men who need space feel their ‘Man’s World’ is now limited to the retreat of a garden shed – if they’re lucky enough to have one? Is no male territory sacred?!
Image by Stefan Keller
I included Stefan’s image because it made me laugh, but I’ve always found it odd that men are expected to get their tackle out in public toilets. I wouldn’t be too happy if I stopped for a wee at the services and found a row of toilets with no screens!
This digression is my signal to wind up, so I’ll leave it here … with massive appreciation for all our lovely men who are alive today and those no longer with us.
The UK clocks go back tonight so the days will be shorter and darker, so let’s look after ourselves and each other, regardless of our gender.
Love and light, JL xxx
Word on a Whim 